I have had moments recently where I was just so sad and I didn't feel real anymore.
We decided we wanted to stay friends which has been harder than I could have ever thought how can you be friends with someone when you thought that person was your forever and turns out you were just some silly seventeen year old.
I have tried distracting myself but its hard and all my friends can say is he is a jerk and I deserve better but really he isn't a jerk at all and right now I dont even want someone else.
I have been acting really out of character and I am sure everyone is thinking the same thing "oh heather is on drugs again" but I really am not I just hate being alone because then I start thinking and then I get sad. I feel bad though my parents are really worried I can tell so I really need to pull out of this.
I start work tomorrow which is exciting I will be working 9-5 mon-friday for three weeks and then I will get my permanent schedule.
I am feeling kinda exposed now.... I mind end up deleting this but it felt good to get it all out
